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BARBARA J. PETERS, RN, LPC

Barbara J. Peters is a gifted communicator with a laser beam ability to cut through the tangle of personal drama to get results and relationships that last a lifetime. As a Licensed Professional Counselor, her counseling style is interactive, respectful, non-judgmental, and supportive. “A large part of my practice is dedicated to working with couples. In my experience, most relationships can be saved, but romantic relationships are always evolving, so they need to be worked on constantly. You need to do that with the right tools.”

In her first book, The Gift of A Lifetime: Building a Marriage that Lasts, Barbara lends insight from her years of experience as a couples’ counselor to give people those essential tools and guide them on successfully using them. “When that happens, love and respect are restored and couples can reclaim a fulfilling relationship,” she explains. The messages in the book can make the difference between having a second honeymoon or seeking a divorce attorney.

In her second book, Barbara focuses directly on the issues of communication, trust, forgiveness, intimacy, acceptance, friendship, and love, with a unique approach from three perspectives: The man’s, the woman’s, and Barbara’s (the counselor’s). He Said, She Said, I Said is a book that truly shows how one’s thoughts can impact behavior and create misunderstanding.

Barbara received a Bachelor of Arts in Sociology from C.W. Post College of Long Island University, a Bachelor of Sciences in Nursing from Stony Brook University, and earned a Master of Science in Counseling from Georgia State University. She is certified by the National Board of Certified Counselors and a member of The Licensed Professional Counselors of Georgia.

Barbara’s collaborative and supportive style of therapy starts with truth. Personal truth.

“I’m as authentic as they come, so I encourage the same from my clients,” Barbara says. “That dynamic of honesty and trust between counselor and client is vital to the success of the counseling process. When you can strip away self-doubt and defenses and come to a session with a genuine desire to work through an issue, there is a 100% guarantee of positive change. I get that commitment consistently from my clients, and in return, my clients get the results they need.”

A Long Island native, Barbara has made Georgia her home for the last twenty-four years; her private counseling practice is in Cumming and she and her husband live in Big Canoe. She is devoted to her family of two grown daughters, four grandchildren, and a Shih Tzu named Gingerlily who often accompanies her to work. http://www.barbarajpeters.com

"The Gift of a Lifetime celebrates couples and shows how they can add sparkle and importance to their marriages to create their own “happily ever after.” Using the acronyms FACTS and FAITH, I explain how implementing FACTS: Forgiveness, Acceptance, Compassion, Trust, and Spirituality can lead to a fulfilling and meaningful life together."

Books-and-Authors.net: Where did you grow up and was reading and writing a part of your life? Who were your earliest influences and why?

BARBARA J. PETERS, RN, LPC: I grew up in Long Island, New York. It was an amazing place for a girl to come of age! I loved the sense of the water surrounding me, especially the Long Island Sound. I spent many hours walking the New York beaches, and even as a young girl, ideas and inspiration came to me as sand crept through my toes.

As a girl I devoured the Nancy Drew series and I imagined myself saving the day as each mystery unraveled. I loved The Bobbsey Twins too and lived the adventures of Bert and Nan and Flossie and Freddie vicariously. I especially loved the delicious descriptions of life in the country – something very different for a New York girl.

My life, real and imaginary, was captured in my diary which was a constant companion. I loved putting words on paper and I pretended I was writing to a friend. My words, whether they were angry, sad, happy, or fearful, always gave me a sense of power. My love for written expression continues to this day.

While growing up, I was influenced by the bright lights of Broadway . . . so near and yet so far! For years I dreamt of being on stage, and my mother encouraged my dreams by taking me into the city for acting and dancing lessons. She was an actress at heart herself, and we filled many a seat at Broadway and Off-Broadway productions. The creativity, ambition, and panache that filled that spectacular avenue in Manhattan put stars in my eyes.

Books-and-Authors.net: Why do you write?

BARBARA J. PETERS, RN, LPC: My thoughts are my life, personally and professionally. As a couples relationship therapist, each day I come face to face with the issues and problems defining and destroying relationships, married or not. As I counsel couples in my office, each story will be different, but there is always a reoccurring undercurrent pulling couples apart or drawing them together. I write to share my thoughts, observations, and suggestions with all couples, knowing each will need to work through obstacles in their relationship at some point in time. I write to give couples the tools they will need to face and conquer their challenges.

Books-and-Authors.net: Discuss your new book: The Gift of a Lifetime: Building a Marriage That Lasts

BARBARA J. PETERS, RN, LPC: The Gift of a Lifetime celebrates couples and shows how they can add sparkle and importance to their marriages to create their own “happily ever after.” Using the acronyms FACTS and FAITH, I explain how implementing FACTS: Forgiveness, Acceptance, Compassion, Trust, and Spirituality can lead to a fulfilling and meaningful life together.

Complementing FACTS is FAITH: Friendship, Affection, Intimacy, Time, and Happiness. These factors are the building blocks for a lifelong union. Case scenarios and selections from my counseling practice are used to demonstrate how FACTS and FAITH work in real life situations. My goal in writing this book was to show couples the way to travel toward a second honeymoon rather than take a trip to a divorce attorney.

Books-and-Authors.net: How has your career as a Licensed Professional Counselor helped in writing your books?

After counseling hundreds of people, I’ve seen the real life struggles couples face as they try to get back the love and respect they once had for each other. My daily interactions with people trying to develop better communication skills and conflict resolutions have been beneficial in defining the missing elements of a well-rounded and satisfying relationship. The successes and failures I’ve observed firsthand have given me the ideas to develop my FACTS and FAITH principles.

Books-and-Authors.net: For your book, He Said, She Said, I Said: 7 Keys to Relationship Success, you have said it "began from my blogs . . . and gives a new perspective to making relationships work." Explain?

BARBARA J. PETERS, RN, LPC: As my blogging about relationships developed, it became apparent my messages could and would be important to many couples trying to find a more satisfying and meaningful relationship. Writing a book using past blogs as well as new ideas allowed me to bring my message to a wider audience. I wrote He Said, She Said, I Said to mimic client/counselor interactions and each section is presented from a different perspective.

Books-and-Authors.net: A couple that is in a comfortable relationship - It has everything except passion and sex -- Can a relationship make if the 'passion and sex' cannot grow or will it hurt or kill the overall relationship?

BARBARA J. PETERS, RN, LPC: Passion, sex, and romance are important factors in any relationship. Of course individuals have different needs and that can become very apparent in the bedroom. Relationships are based on many factors, passion and sex being only two of them.

A problem can occur when one half of the couple has physical needs that the other half doesn’t share. Sometimes this issue becomes negotiable, but it can be a deal breaker for the relationship. As always, communication is the key. I preach humor when facing ticklish subjects like this one. Sometimes humor can be an excellent way to diffuse confusion, disappointment, and resentment.

Lack of sex or passion can be overcome, but it does take effort, patience, and understanding.

Books-and-Authors.net: Can a marriage bounce back from infidelity?

BARBARA J. PETERS, RN, LPC: Absolutely! I see it happening every day, but it is a difficult situation to resolve because so much is implied and inferred by the act of infidelity. Regaining trust requires much work and commitment from each partner, along with the realization that time can be a great healer. “Bouncing back” might take longer than expected, often with setbacks along the way, but if a couple is truly committed to their marriage or relationship, it can happen.

Books-and-Authors.net: What are readers saying about your book?

BARBARA J. PETERS, RN, LPC: I’ve been encouraged by the positive comments from my clients and blog responders. Often one simple phrase or idea will hit home with a reader that can change their relationship forever. Many have said my words have encouraged and challenged them to view their problems and concerns in different ways, getting outside their own heads to see how their partner might think or feel. This is difficult to do, but I’m thrilled my readers are getting this message.

Books-and-Authors.net: What do you hope to achieve with your books?

BARBARA J. PETERS, RN, LPC: I want to help couples reach reality to know what it takes to make a relationship work well and be strong yet flexible enough to last a lifetime. I encourage couples to put their marriage or relationship on the front page of their lives, and daily nurture their connection and commitment to each other to give it the importance it deserves.

I often tell my clients that one day they will retire, one day their kids will leave the nest, one day life as they know it will change. Then it will be just the two of them together again. Why not begin working now to make decades of growth, love and happiness a reality?

Books-and-Authors.net: What was the last book you read?

BARBARA J. PETERS, RN, LPC: Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.

Books-and-Authors.net: What's next?

BARBARA J. PETERS, RN, LPC: I’d love to try my hand at fiction! Using all I’ve learned from my personal and professional experiences, writing a romance novel sounds like it would be fun to do!